Joined
·
1,636 Posts
I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I think I've got it figgered.
Enough procrastinating. Where's that shovel got to?
- Invite him over to your house to "bury the hatchet". Make sure he has a better time than he's ever had in his entire life. Hire a hooker to pose as your wife and to give him a good time while you wash the dishes. Pretend to like Billy Ray Cyrus... Anything you have to do to make him think you two were born to be buddies.
- Dig a big hole in your backyard. That spot right behind the garage where your neighbors can't see.
- Wait three weeks so he has plenty of time to tell everyone that the two of you must have been born twins and how hot your wife is.
- Meet him "accidentally", and invite him over again right then.
- Tell him you need his opinion about this hole you're digging.
- Drive his car to the baddest part of town. Leave the keys in the ignition.
- Change clothes a few blocks away, and go home.
- Pile firewood behind the garage.
Enough procrastinating. Where's that shovel got to?